Bick's Quicks

Don't Say No

In the world of leading volunteers we will always need to engage more people in leading and doing.  When we consider making the "ask" sometimes we are tempted to answer for others before they answer for themselves.  

Saying "no" for someone else limits your ability to lead well, and it lessens the progress of the area you are responsible to lead.

Saying "no" before asking may be saying no to God.

Some of the people that come to your mind are people who God wants to use for His Kingdom purposes.  I meet leaders of volunteers who are praying that God will bring the right people to their ministry.  Before He brings them to your ministry He will bring them to your mind.

 

Speed of the Leader, Speed of the Team

Look at any organization, family or church and you'll pick up clues about the leader--even though you may have never met them personally.

Is the environment ordered, purposeful and strategic?  That happens because of leadership energy, influence and effort.  

Is there a sense of instability, insecurity and drift? Find the leader and you'll find that their lives mirror what is displayed in the culture.

Leaders lead-the fruit of their leadership is always displayed in those that follow be it out of a willing spirit, the necessity of a paycheck or the bonds of blood ties.  

Followers may rise above the level of their leaders, but it comes either at a great cost or a great exodus. If you are the leader and you find yourself frustrated with your situation, your followers and your results-it's time for you to look in the mirror, own your part and stop blaming your results on teammates who just don't get it.  

Your people exactly where you have led them to be.

Think Progressive

I've not been a huge fan of the auto insurance industry.  Policy jargon, increased rates and less than friendly customer service have been the norm.  Six months ago our Financial Planner and I were discussing some coverages and he asked me if I shopped Auto Insurance recently.  I had not, so he gave me a number to call, it was one of those broker places who pulls quotes from many sources.  

The best deal came back from Progressive.  We jumped ship from Allstate and were saving on average about 20 bucks per month.  We hadn't had any claims in years, that quickly changed.

The Yukon rear-ended a small Toyota.  Progressive paid the claim and handled everything by phone and online-it was a snap.  Our rates increased slightly.

We added a 16 year old driver in May.  Our rates increased more but still they are not near what others are paying.

My windshield has a chip from a rock-I called and they are sending out a repair specialist to fix it same day.

Their website is fast, easy to navigate and all of the customer service agents have been friendly and helpful.  

Today I tweeted my status as a Progressive fan and they replied back. 

Impressive...

go beyond problem spotting to problem solving

It's easy to practice armchair criticism.  This is especially true for environments where you are the "outsider".  We grow blind to dysfunction in our areas of responsibility, our relationships and our personal lives.  

A close friend, a casual observer or someone who is the recipient of our ministry or efforts can usually spot major deficiencies-this is the easy part.  If the critique stops here-it will only increase the hurt, it won't help you or your organization move forward.

The solution is not the sole responsibility of the one who is receiving the critique-if it were you'd be in trouble because you created the mess you're in-if you can't see your way out, how is that going to change?  

Engage the problem spotter-ask them the following questions:

“What do you think I need to do to help our company/church succeed?”

“What do you think needs to be done, and why is it important?”

“What do you think our goals should be?”

“How do you think we should go about achieving our goals?”

Solutions are often found in the seeds of criticism-you just have to plant them, water them and let them grow.

Let God Define Your Leadership

Ambition is often looked upon as a virtue.  We're impressed when someone shows drive, desire and determination to reach a goal.  A question I'm asking these days is this: "Is this(what I desire) my goal or is it God's good for my life?" 

As I wrestle with this question I'm learning that....

• It is God who defines my boundaries-where I'll live and what I'll do
• Self exaltation usually ends in humiliation
• I must be clear on what I have to offer others-if I can't deliver the impact will be greater than simple disappointment.

Tuesday's Tweak #19 - Own It

Passing the buck - the need to blame everyone but ourselves.

It's not uncommon for us to believe that our problems, issues, challenges or opportunities are due to the incompetence, failures, deficiencies and faults of others.  Our problem is not our problem-it's a problem because they're a problem-so we think.

True, we may have a lazy-bones Jones or can't keep up Fred who is holding the team/organization/church back from achieving its full potential but the problem may not be all their fault-I may be contributing to the issue.  

If my team can't get the football down the field, if we're having the same issues over and over, if I'm consistently frustrated with the lack of clarity, progress, unity-and my team has changed over the course of time but my problems haven't-I'd better be looking at more than my hair in the mirror-if you know what I mean.

It's time for leaders to own their part of the problem.  Stop blaming, whining, griping, cussing and firing people on your team.  Start figuring out exactly how you are contributing to the mess you find yourself in.

There's a trend in Leadership Literature right now, and I think a good one, for leaders to take a look at themselves first.

If you aren't getting what you want from your people-it may not be your people-it may be you. Can you own that?

Leaders who are owning it:

Steven Furtrick

Craig Groschel

Ben Arment

Tuesday's Tweak #18 Put Down the Gun

Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us. 

Leaders attract both followers and critics-if you have neither you aren't a leader.  In the face of opposition or criticism leaders have a tendency to circle the wagons to defend and then break out the winchesters to blow away the critics.  Sometimes this is necessary.

On occasion it may seem like the enemies have infiltrated the camp, especially when someone you would number among your followers begins to share what you perceive to be criticism.  If you haven't developed leadership muscle you may default to circling the wagons and breaking out the guns and taking pot shots within the circle.  Do this too often and you won't have many followers left and those who remain will only sing your praises.

Most likely, those who default to this behavior never give opportunity to those who loyally follow them to share constructive comments.   There is a difference between a gripe session and a discussion designed to improve the functioning of the team, business or organization.  I'm advocating creating opportunities within your team for the latter.  Here's how

1.  Realize as a leader that you aren't "all that" and you have significant blind spots-you need to know what others are saying, feeling, thinking.  Even Jesus asked; "Who do others say that I am?"

2. Regularly ask your team: "What are you feeling uneasy about?"

3. If you are only receiving "positive feedback" and never hear anything constructive or challenging from your team-you need to blow up the team, mix it up and ask those who aren't saying anything at all what they're really thinking.

4. Be bold and ask the team: What do you wish I would do more/less of in my leadership role?

5. Get feedback on how you have responded (verbally/non-verbally) in the past to challenges or criticism from your team.  Your reactions may be the reason you're not getting real feedback.

6. Monitor your emotions/thoughts in real time discussion when the conversations get challenging-is this about you, your ego, your ability or is it about doing what's best for the team, business, organization?  

7. You don't have to accept everything as fact and truth-weigh it, examine it and thank those brave enough to share comments that don't sound like press releases from your PR department.

Adapted from: What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith. 

Tuesday's Tweak #17 Two Words that Win Everytime

Failing to express gratitude: the most basic form of bad manners.

As a kid your Mom probably drilled this into your head by prompting you to respond on cue when she said: "What do you say?"

Whether you said it with sincere feeling or simply out of obligation your vocalization of these two words was the beginning of an all important lesson-it is good to say "Thank You."

These two words are currency for the soul.

Spouses, children, co-workers, supervisors, associates, neighbors and the person at the checkout counter all desire to be acknowledged for their contributions.  You can't pay everyone what they are worth-but you can build up credit in their accounts in far greater amounts than what you could pay them monetarily by simply saying; "thank you."

These two words won't cost you anything to say--if they go unsaid they may cost you everything.

Pausing to express your gratitude shows that you are aware that they could be doing something else with their energy or time, that they are a valuable part of your team, family or organization and that you would miss what they bring to the table if they were gone or decided not to contribute.

Saying "thank you" is also a great response to those offering unsolicited advice, constructive comments or correction.  Admittedly, my first response is to debate, debunk or dismiss but by saying thanks I can quickly end the conversation and begin weighing what they've brought to my attention.  In the end, I won't learn less from what they've communicated.  I may gain in my measure of self-awareness, I may gain insight into their perceptions/feelings or realize that they are having a bad day.  By thanking them, I've kept the door open and my stock goes up in their minds-simply because they feel valued by my receiving something they have brought my way.

Try your own "thank you" experiment this week by communicating these two important words-I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Adapted from: What Got You Here, Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith.

Tuesday's Tweak #14 You Got To Own It

Refusing to express regret: the inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.

You will hurt, disappoint, frustrate, anger, neglect, overlook, let down and wrong others-it will happen. That it happens isn't as important as what happens next.  Will you own it or pretend it never happened? For many leaders it's difficult to admit that your shortcomings have had an impact on the outcome, objectives or even worse the team.

Somehow we bought into the belief that leaders are supposed to get it right 99.9% of the time. Anything less might require us to hand in our Leader Card and call it game over.

Owning your mistakes and then apologizing are critical if you are going to be an effective leader.

Marshall Goldsmith makes the following observations:

• When you say; "I'm sorry," you turn people into your allies, even your partners.
• Apologizing is one of the most powerful and resonant gestures in the human arsenal. 
• Owning your part fully helps others let go of the past. 

  Next time you blow it try saying something like this in your own words/style: "I'm sorry.  I can't change the past.  All I can say is that I'm sorry for what I did wrong.  I'm sorry it hurt you.  There's no excuse for it and I will try to do better in the future.  I would like you to give me any ideas about how I can improve."

When and if you receive a few constructive comments-resist the urge to debate, explain or defend and just say thank you.

Adapted from: What Got You Here Won't Get You There

  
  
  

Tuesday's Tweak #14 Level the Field

Playing Favorites-failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly

Almost every company/organization says it wants their people to "challenge the system" or go against the status quo, to be empowered to raise their opinion--even if it is a dissenting voice.  Most companies/organizations who say this are simply giving lip service.  

Easy to say--difficult to live out and with.

Here's why....

Leaders sometimes send out signals to team members encouraging them to keep critical comments quiet, yet be lavish in praise.  This happens when the Leader adds their evaluation first or too early in the discussion-rather than holding back and weighing the words others have shared.  Because the Leader is a leader-others will follow.  When a leader speaks first; others are more likely to echo the same opinion good or bad.

The field can become uneven when a leader only listens to those who heap unthinking, unconditional praise their way.  Approval is infinitely more easy to accept than constructive criticism.  A diet composed only of applause and approval is like eating cotton candy for breakfast everyday.  

Leaders-we're not perfect.  We better make sure that someone on our team reminds us of that fact. 

Goldsmith suggest we begin to view those around us in these categories:

1.  How much do they like me? (not that you actually know for sure but how much do you think they like you?)

2. What is their contribution to the team?  (Are they A players or B, C or worse?)

3. How much positive, personal recognition do I give them?  

He suggests that we look to see if there is a stronger correlation between one and three or two and three.

If we are honest, we may have to admit that our recognition may be related to how much we believe they like us--rather than how well they perform.  This is the definition of playing favorites.

And the fault is all ours.  As leaders if we bask in hollow praise, we will be hollow leaders.

Adapted from: What Got You Here, Won't Get You There  by Marshall Goldsmith