Bick's Quicks

Naked Evangelism

I enjoy working out at our local fitness center, I've been at it for about 5 years now.  In that time I've developed a few close relationships with the staff.  This past week while working in the cafe I had the opportunity to pray with one of the sales guys-he's been through a lot, it was a great privilege. 

Later that same week I returned to work out before heading home.  (Warning: The following may not suitable for some audiences-especially ladies)  One of the realities in the men's locker room is male nudity.  Most guys live by the locker room code-undress, dress, don't stand around naked, don't walk the entire length of the locker room while naked and for the love of all that's good and pure-don't strike up a conversation with another dude while you are standing there in all of your glory.

Some guys break the code.  Usually, it's the guys who look like Sasquatch, who are pair shaped and should never be seen naked in light of any kind.  I digress....

As I was observing the code and getting dressed for my workout, a code breaking old dude struck up a conversation with me.  I hurriedly laced up my shoes and adjusted my iPod, he pulled up his swim trunks and before heading to the pool he handed me a pink-worn out-mimeographed track with Jesus' picture  and said...here's a track for you.

I want to affirm his efforts at evangelism.  I may not agree with his approach, but I respect that he at least is seeking to share the message of the Gospel.  But I didn't want any part of what he had to offer-no matter what it was he wanted to give me.

Why? 

I was disgusted by what I had already seen.  “Naked Old Guy” is probably a great guy-except for the code breaking part, but I didn't even want to give him a chance-I was closed to his message because I'd seen enough.  It made me think of all the ways I've lived my life that have made those who have seen me “naked” want to turn away in disgust and reject the Gospel.

I think of  judgmental, legalistic ways I lived life
I think of my prejudice toward those who were different than me
I think of the insensitivity I've displayed in my immaturity
I think of the brash boldness I presented as I thought I had all the answers
I think of lack of concern I showed to those in need-because I was busy with my “deal”
I think of the crappy friend I've been

Gross, Disgusting, Awful

As a fully clothed Christ follower I'm living my life “naked” before those who don't know him.  My actions and attitudes are on display-even when I think they are veiled.  I'm praying that my life will point people to Christ rather than cause them to turn away in disgust.

Friends and Mirrors

I hate wrap around mirrors, the ones that show you the sides of your head, your back and parts of you that remain hidden until exposed by glass and steel. The reason I don't like them is that they present a view of me is unappealing. 

In my own mind I possess an image of how I believe I appear to others.  I forget that image resides in my mind alone.  Friends, true friends, can be similar to wrap around mirrors.  They view the unlovely parts of you and they reflect back what they see.  I may not like it but it's the truth, even when I don't want to accept it.

When I receive feedback about a character flaw, an un-Christlike attitude or some annoying habit that is threatening community, I have a choice.  To ignore the reflection and refuse to face reality or view what may be unpleasant, un-welcomed but ultimately known to those who are close to me.

If you stop looking in mirrors and listening to friends, you'll be stuck with an image of yourself that no one sees but you.  That would be sad, you'll be lonely and you won't be in touch with reality.

Want to See God?

If you are a Christ follower you've probably encountered a few days where you simply want God to show up and point out which way you should go.

I have a few friends who are navigating life changing decisions: job offers, relationship issues, decisions regarding their kids and the schools they attend, choices regarding treatment options for cancer, they want to know for certain which road to take.  

In the days of uncertainty I often find myself asking God to simply "show" up and reveal the way.  When I'm praying this way I tend to hit the pause button and stop all action until God unmistakably shows up and reveals my next step. What I forget is that God didn't ask me to stop and live on pause.

This passage has me thinking about the work that precedes God showing up in my life.  

• Am I arranging my life so that there will be space for God to reveal himself?
• Am I living in obedience-already doing what God has asked?
• Am I pursuing personal holiness and dealing with sin?
• Am I actively participating in personal and corporate worship?
• Am I willing to follow God's leadership-to stay or to go as he leads? 

   

Accountability

Last night one of the participants in our Financial Learning Groups asked about accountability within marriage.  The original question pertained to how accountability works regarding staying on a budget-and what to do when one or both wants to or actually does break the budget. The energy level definitely rose a few levels after he asked that question and everyone was ready for an answer.  I shot from the hip a bit but realized that these are some of my core convictions on the subject of how accountability works in a marriage.

• In order to be accountable I have to be transparent-I'm making a conscious decision to willingly reveal what I'm thinking, feeling, believing, desiring to someone I am in a relationship with.  They need to be able to call me on my crap when they see it.
• I must listen and consider their feedback-my tendency will be to defend, dismiss, explain or justify.  
• The person I'm accountable to must be willing to keep a confidence, listen, challenge and ask the questions they may be afraid to ask-if my accountability partner isn't digging around a bit and asking the uncomfortable questions that the Holy Spirit places in their mind, it may not really be accountability and I need a new Accountability Partner. 
• I am accountable to my spouse but I need someone else-it's easy to power up or go silent on my spouse, I'm not proud of it but I'm more likely to do whatever it takes to keep the peace at home, especially if my wife is challenging me on an area I need to change.  I'm less likely to pull those stunts with a trusted friend-and if I do they can call me on it.  One additional thought-your accountability partner must be the same gender.  Guys with Guys and Ladies with Ladies.  I've seen too many affairs begin when men and women who are not married to each other share intimate details from their lives with someone other than their spouse-don't go there!  

What are your thoughts on accountability? 

Are you Hungry?

It's common in churches to hear someone say; "I need to be fed." Sometimes this is code for a couple of things....

1.In their opinion the church isn't giving them enough material/content/bible study stuff-i.e. information.

2. Don't make me work for it-do the bible study for me and then give me the highlights.

When my kids were younger we fed them.  First it was milk/formula, then baby food, then finger foods in small bite size pieces, later they learned to use forks and spoons and eat big people food.  Now, they can go to the kitchen, select what they're hungry for, prepare it and eat for themselves.  They are not dependent upon us to "feed" them.

Today I and several leaders from Churches around the country were discussing this very issue.  How to help people grow spiritually or become self-feeders.  Ultimately, when people are just starting out we (the church) bear a greater responsibility in helping "baby" Christians find the nourishment that will sustain them in their spiritual walk.  

As they mature, finding spiritual food becomes their responsibility.  I'm thinking that they way parents provide for their kids may hold a few insights for understanding the responsibility that spiritual leaders bear in "feeding" the flock.

Our responsibility to "feed" changes over time.  If we're not building independent self feeders who are able to eventually find and prepare their own spiritual food-then we're doing something wrong.

Hello 2009

I'm welcoming in the New Year with a sense of anticipation and optimism.  I love the fresh start each new year brings.  I've got my goals/lists ready for the coming year-some are attainable, some are going to challenge me, others will absolutely stretch me beyond my growing edges.

I need all three types of goals.  If they are so lofty that I can't experience success I'll bail on all of them, if they're easily attainable I'll get bored.  If they only push me to my limit-then I'll never discover anything beyond what I've already experienced.

I may blog about a few in the future to let you in on my successes, failures and learnings along the way.

What are your goals for the coming year?

Perspective On Your Leadership

We often make two mistakes when it comes to our assessing our leadership.  One, we overestimate our contribution.  Two, we underestimate our contribution.  

Let me propose a third-we fail to acknowledge God's appointing us to our leadership position.  In Job 12 you'll find a pretty comforting/disturbing perspective on how small our contribution and how LARGE God's is to our leadership position.

It's not about us--it's about Him.

As Andy Stanley says: "Leadership is stewardship, it is temporary.  You're accountable."

To Consider When Life is Difficult....

God is not doing something to you

He is doing something in you

It might lead to Him doing something through you

The Myth of Comp Time

Many of us spend more than 40 hours a week working at our jobs.  If you're like me you've probably told yourself that one day, next week, next month, next year things will be different.  I would bet, if you have the freedom, you've taken a "comp" day in an attempt to re-calibrate and refresh physically, mentally, spiritually.

I'm also guessing that any refreshment you achieved lasted about as long as an ice cube on a sidewalk during high noon on a hot summer day in August.

There's a problem with comp time...it doesn't work.  

You can't compensate

• for missing your child's performance, game, recital
• being absent for anniversaries or birthdays 
• frazzled nerves, depleted emotional reserves and physical exhaustion   
• spiritual emptiness   

Many of us have grown to value ourselves by what we do, how much we can accomplish, the results we bring to our organization or business. Consequently it's placed us on the edge of burnout, bailout and frustration.  
  

A day off here or there, a few "down" weekends or an emergency vacation to restore our sanity and rescue our families may soothe our guilty consciences but it's not good medicine for the long haul.

Part of the problem could be in how you are working--you're doing too much, you haven't learned the fine art of delegating, you are not skilled at keeping a calendar or running a task list.  These you can learn.

Another issue may be inside of you--you're in search of praise that eludes you, recognition for your sacrifice, reward for all that you've achieved.  And it never comes--just like the balance you so desperately want.  Fixing this takes a work of God in your heart.

Today many of you didn't want to get out of bed and head to work.  It's been that way for a while now. When will you have had enough to seek a change?

I pray today.

 

Is it you or me?

At times I find myself frustrated with results. Wether it's the lack of progress on a major project, a meeting that shoots the wheels off of my bus or a relationship that has become a beating rather than a blessing.  When these things happen I'm faced with a choice.

Blame someone-after all it can't be me it must be them.

Or.....

Look at the “system” that produced the results.

I wish I could say that I do the latter more often-if I did-I'd be lying.  My first reaction (and I'm guessing yours) is to quickly find someone other than me to highlight as the reason behind my frustrations.  It's not me it's you. 

Really?

If I'm not getting the results I had hoped for and it's always someone else's fault-stop listening to me and anyone else who is quick to cue up the victim tapes.  The problem is me-or at least my “system” of making decisions, handling time, doing relationships, living life and whatever else it is that I'm prone to complaining about.

The results you're getting are directly attributable to your “system” (actions, approach).

I'll grant that occasionally you'll run into a knucklehead or two who will toss you and others under the bus-even then there's a system for dealing with people like that.

Just sayin....

When there are systems problems you always blame the players

   -Andy Stanley DRIVE 06